How does this sound for my abstract on my research paper?And thesis?

10 points guaranteed


Treatment for Heart Disease-Abstract





How does this sound for my abstract on my research paper?And thesis?


Treatment for Heart Disease-Abstract





There are those who actually act blind to the substantial threat that heart diseases pose. Some people go about living their lives unafraid and unaware that any day can be their last day. They eat and drink without remorse and without knowing whether they or not what they are doing is healthy to their own bodies. In the medical world, they encounter all kinds of heart conditions and all kinds of heart conditions and all kinds of patients having them. Although some individuals are becoming more aware of the dangers of heart disease, most people lack basic knowledge regarding the prevention and management of this serious medical condition.





A heart disease can be called by many names and terminologies. The processes and implications of a heart disease can be quite complex especially for those who are experencing it whether as a victim or someone related to the victim. It is therefore the purpose of this discussion to comprehend why the heart disease contributes to almost half the deaths recorded in society. This paper will begin by first explaining the basic understanding of what a heart disease is or how it is generally perceived by individuals. Then this paper will explain the most common causes that may bring about heart diseases. Following this, the technology and modern techniques that are used in a laboratory shall also be analyzed. Finally, this paper will be illustrating some of the conventional and known heart surgeries that are in practice today.

How does this sound for my abstract on my research paper?And thesis?
"There are those who actually act blind to the substantial threat that heart diseases pose." - They don't "act blind", since they are not aware of the problems associated with heart disease. Avoid cliches, as well. I would just say that "Many are oblivious to the substantial threat associated with heart diseases."





Make sure you put a comma in between complex and especially in the second sentence of your second paragraph.





"This paper will begin by first explaining the basic understanding of what a heart disease is or how it is generally perceived by individuals." - Repetitive: just say "This paper will begin by explaining..."





"Finally, this paper will be illustrating some of the conventional and known heart surgeries that are in practice today." - The "be" is unnecessary. Change it to "this paper will illustrate..."





Otherwise, very good work. I hope you get an A+ on your paper.